As a manager, you need to be equipped to handle emotional conversations with your employees — especially these days. Here’s how to be supportive when someone shares that they’re going through a tough situation or challenge. First, validate their experience. This can be as simple as acknowledgement — for example, “I can see why this is exhausting.” You’re not only saying “I see you,” you’re also saying “I believe you,” which can make someone feel less alone. Give your colleague the chance to elaborate if they want to. Try coming from a place of curiosity; for example, you can say “Tell me more about that.” And you might then ask, “How can I best support you right now?” or “What would be helpful right now?” This will give them the opportunity to name what they need. If they are unable to do so — or if they’re afraid to — you can give them some options. For example, you can ask “Would X be helpful?” Offering a specific way to support them can make it easier for someone to say yes to accepting help. Finally, thank the person for coming to you. You might say, “I can see this has been hard. Thank you for trusting me with this information.” This signals to both you and them that conversations like this are important and reinforces a sense of safety for future conversations. It’s no longer enough for managers to provide the tools and resources for your team to function — you also need to create psychological safety for them to thrive.
Tag: Kalikajaros
Starting out in a new job can feel awkward. Even if you have effective onboarding, you might not be sure what to say, who to talk to, or how to figure out what you need to know. And you’re not alone; most people feel uncomfortable the first few days, weeks, or even months at a new gig. Here are some ways to ease into the transition. Make an effort to get to know your new colleagues — even if you’re anxious about making a first impression. Chances are you’re overthinking how they’re perceiving you in the early days (in other words, they’re not judging you as harshly as you think). Be proactive about getting together with colleagues for coffee or one-on-one meetings to find common ground. A few solid relationships can make your new workplace start to feel like home. Also, focus on learning the organization’s language. See if a colleague can put together a cheat sheet for you of commonly used acronyms and phrases used around the company, and ask permission to reach out when a new phrase comes up that you don’t know. And crucially, remember that it takes time to get adjusted to a new environment and that everyone else was new at one point too. The more you put yourself out there and invest early in relationships, even if it’s awkward, the sooner you’ll feel like you’ve been there forever.
| Deciding your next career move can feel overwhelming. There are so many potential choices with a variety of possible outcomes, that it can be hard to fairly assess your options. Try using a simple exercise to identify what you love about work and what you’re looking for. Start by creating a blank Bingo card, essentially a table with five squares across and five squares down — a total of 25. Then, write 10 to 15 skills that you possess, enjoy, and think employers may consider valuable in various boxes. It doesn’t matter what squares they go in, but try to be as specific as possible. Next, come up with a list of five to 10 traits you’d like to have in a future manager and five to 10 values, benefits, or qualities you’d like in a future workplace. Write those down too, until all 25 boxes are full. Now, use this Bingo card to evaluate roles you’re interested in. When you come across job descriptions that pique your interest, check off the boxes on your card that you believe will be fulfilled by that specific job. Which of your skills will you be able to apply? Likewise, note any boxes that remain unchecked and consider whether they’re dealbreakers. For example, if you wrote down on your card that one of the qualities you want in a workplace is “a fast-paced, startup culture” but you see a role that seems perfect for you that sits within a large corporation, would you be willing to compromise or is that a dealbreaker? While this may seem like just a game, it’s a great way for you to identify what you really want and consider options that are often hard to compare. |
When multiple employees leave your organization, it can have a ripple effect across your team. How can you prevent further attrition? What can you do to keep people motivated and engaged? Start by giving your team certainty. For example, if you yourself have no plans to leave the company, make that clear. You might say, “Just so you know, I’m not going anywhere — I will be here for you.” This will create a sense of stability for your team members. Next, figure out workloads so no one is overburdened by the departures. Assess people’s individual and collective capacity and rebalance work as necessary. Keep in mind that you may need to adjust your expectations about what can realistically be accomplished. Give them autonomy. Align on the team’s collective goals, and then allow people to decide how, when, and where they complete their work. For example, could your team members choose some of the projects they work on, or with whom they work? Wherever you can provide people with choices, do so. Finally, let everyone know it’s OK to push back. They can say “no” and question deadlines. Invite them to tell you how much work something that “seems simple” will actually take to accomplish. It’s hard when people around you are quitting. But use this opportunity to recalibrate and solidify the team’s foundation so those who remain are more likely to stay.
When you’re aware of the biases you hold as a leader, you’ll be better positioned to correct (or avoid perpetuating) discriminatory behavior on your team. Start by slowing down and questioning your assumptions. Here are a few questions you can reflect on: How would my team describe my leadership style if they were sharing their experience of working with me to others? Do my words and actions actually reflect my intentions? What core beliefs do I hold? How might these beliefs limit or enable me and my colleagues at work? Look for patterns of thinking in your answers. It’s also important to seek out feedback from your colleagues to understand how they perceive you and what you can do better. People whose perspectives and opinions differ from yours are more likely to provide you with insightful feedback. You could say, “I value your opinion and am curious about the impact of my leadership style. Would you be willing to have a conversation about this? Is there something I can improve upon that will have a positive impact on the team?” Taking these steps will help you be a leader who’s self-aware, learning, and constantly challenging their biases.
If networking feels transactional — and even unnatural — to you, you’re not alone. Maybe you take a bit longer to open up to people. Maybe your mind goes blank when you’re trying to make a good impression. Or maybe you feel the need to overcompensate for your nerves with false enthusiasm. How can you reconcile the fact that you should be networking with your equally strong desire to avoid the discomfort of it all? Start by reframing how you think about it. Try thinking of it as a genuine opportunity to make a meaningful connection, rather than a phony, opportunistic interaction. Consider what you have to offer in a situation, not just what you want to take. For example, when you ask someone for career advice or support, you are actually giving them an opportunity to help you — that’s what many people want to do. Explore your authentic curiosity. Before meeting someone new, read a little about them, but do so with the goal of finding something interesting, rather than memorizing the “right” questions to ask in order to make a good impression. It’s a subtle mindset shift, but it can make a world of difference. Finally, don’t try to hide who you are. Be honest — even if that means openly expressing discomfort with the whole networking thing.
When your colleague is grieving a loss, you want to be supportive without overstepping. So what should you do? Start by offering privacy. It’s important to give them the space to process. Let them approach you when, and if, they are ready. At the same time, you want to show that you are there for them should they need you. You can say something simple like, “I’m thinking of you,” or “I’m happy to just sit with you while we both sip our coffee, if you’d like.” Perhaps the most helpful thing you can do is to offer support with work. Your grieving colleague may be feeling the pressure to perform, especially if they’re returning to deadlines after a bereavement period. You might say something like “Is there anything I can help with today in case you’d like to leave a little early?” Or, “I’m happy to take something off your plate, if that helps.” Your goal should be to help your coworker return to their daily routine, without judging them for how they’re coping with their loss, and giving them the time they need to deal with it in their own way.
Your success in a job interview often hinges on your ability to tell a good story. Stories, rather than straightforward answers, help you stand out from other candidates. Here’s how to weave a gripping narrative if your interviewer asks you a situational question such as “Can you explain a challenge you overcame?” or “Can you tell me about yourself?” Start by choosing a relevant moment that genuinely left a lasting imprint on you. Honesty and authenticity are key; your interviewer will be able to tell right away if the memory you’re recounting doesn’t actually mean much to you. Share details. Don’t just tell them something they can see on your resume or in your cover letter — paint them a picture by explaining the who, what, where, when, why, and how of the moment. Crucially, show vulnerability. The last thing you want to do is come off as a one-dimensional “hero.” Balance your stories of success with a story or two of failure. For example, you might share an experience where your best intentions still resulted in an undesirable outcome that taught you an important lesson. Stories like these will show your interviewer that you have a healthy dose of self-awareness and can maintain a growth mindset, even in the face of difficulty.
Have you ever wondered whether it’d be helpful to work with a career coach? Hiring one requires time and money, so it’s important to do your due diligence before making the investment. Here are five reasons you might consider hiring one.
- You don’t know what you want to do next. If you’re not sure what will bring you fulfillment, a coach can help you consider possibilities that are a departure from your past experiences or that you hadn’t considered.
- You want to drastically improve your resume and LinkedIn profile. Maybe you need support in identifying transferable skills that are relevant to a role you’re interested in, even if they don’t match up exactly with what’s in the job description.
- You aren’t over your previous job. Perhaps the way your last job ended has left you feeling wounded and lacking confidence. A career coach can encourage you to move past unpleasant career experiences and rebuild your belief in yourself.
- You’ve been interviewing, but it’s going nowhere. A coach can help you refine your answers to other common interview questions, polish your executive presence, and practice with you so you feel confident in your next interview.
- You’re not moving up in your career. Coaches can decode performance feedback from your manager to uncover behaviors you need to adjust to continue to grow.
When done well, a virtual brainstorm can be incredibly effective — even preferable to a traditional, in-person one. Start by choosing a collaboration tool that’s right for your team (for example, Google Docs for group-based writing projects or MURAL to simulate a whiteboard experience). Then ask team members to independently generate ideas. This might happen synchronously during a live video conference, or asynchronously if your team is dispersed across time zones. Either way, ask people to focus on quality over quantity, and encourage them to submit contradicting ideas if they feel inspired to do so — without worrying about the consequences. Next, organize your team’s ideas so that they’re legible and visually digestible, and gather anonymous feedback and responses on whatever has been generated. It can help to share criteria that you’d like them to compare the ideas against. Finally, assemble your team to discuss a shortlist of the “best” ideas live on a call (if that’s feasible) to determine next steps and assignments.