Reflection — looking back on your day (without bias or regret) to contemplate your behavior and its consequences — helps develop your emotional intelligence. If you want to build a regular habit of reflecting, keep a journal. Whenever you are surprised or frustrated, pause and note the feeling. Then, as soon as you are able — perhaps for fifteen minutes at the end of each workday — jot down what happened. Try to identify the “why” behind the emotion. What about the event triggered these feelings in you? Did things not go your way? Did you make a mistake? Next, set an hour aside each week to review your notes. Block out the time on your calendar and take an honest and rigorous look at where you’ve been mentally and emotionally. Finally, don’t just re-read your journal entry; add to it. In retrospect, are there things about the situation that you’re able to see differently? Press yourself. What went wrong? Were your initial observations correct or do they reveal something else that may have been going on, something you couldn’t see in the heat of the moment? Try to think of yourself as a neutral observer. And go easy on yourself. Reflection can be ego-bruising. Always remember that excellence is achieved by stumbling, standing up, dusting yourself off, then stumbling again. If you study those stumbles, you’re much less likely to stumble the same way again.