Author: Nick Kalikajaros

If you cry in front of your colleagues, for whatever reason, there’s no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Treat yourself with compassion: One moment doesn’t define you, and difficulties are a normal part of life. Next time, give yourself space. If you feel the waterworks coming on, ask to pause the conversation. Take a few minutes to compose yourself by stepping out of the room or turning your camera off. A quick change of scenery and a few deep breaths can often help diffuse your reaction. When you return, your instinct might be to apologize for being “overly emotional” or pretend it didn’t happen. Instead, acknowledge your reaction, and if you feel comfortable, explain where it’s coming from. We often cry when we’re caught off guard or feel overwhelmed. If you want to hold back your tears next time, try focusing on your breathing, stepping away for a moment, or taking a sip of ice-cold water. It’s human to have emotions, but what makes you a great leader is how you choose to respond and communicate when emotional reactions do arise.

Have you ever gotten inconsistent feedback about your leadership style? For example, one person says that you’re a micromanager, while someone else feels they don’t get enough of your attention. Don’t dismiss these mixed messages. Approach them with curiosity to interpret what’s going on. First, identify your intentions as a leader and ask whether they’re clear to your team. A gap between your intentions and impact may be what’s triggering people’s responses. Second, figure out who brings out your best and worst qualities — and why. Are you unknowingly favoring one set of colleagues at the expense of others? Finally, be intentional about your decision-making, rather than reflexively acting on old assumptions. To become a more consistent, self-aware leader, you need to be mindful of what’s actually happening in front of you.

Everyone appreciates a meeting that’s run efficiently. To stick to a schedule and make the best use of everyone’s time, start by planning your talking points. Ask yourself questions like: What ideas do I want to raise in this meeting? What problems do we need to solve? What questions do I most want this group to discuss and consider? At the start of the meeting, lay out what exactly needs to be decided, reviewed, or accomplished. Avoid vague verbs like “exploring” or “addressing” that promise talk, not action. Give the team a preview of what will be covered so they know what to expect and can follow along. Throughout the meeting, keep detours brief. When a tangential idea arises, even if it’s a good one, consider whether it’s the right meeting to discuss it. If not, steer the meeting back toward your agenda, and follow up later about the unrelated idea. Finally, end on an actionable note. Decide who’s doing what next and when.

When you’re lucky enough to have a mentor, don’t just take what you need from the relationship. You want to give back as well. Your age, experience, and expertise have little to do with the value you bring to the table. To practice this “reverse mentorship,” start by figuring out exactly what it is you have to offer. Ask yourself: What challenges is your organization facing that you might have insights, information, or expertise on? Figure out what you’re great at, why it’s important to your organization, and how your mentor could use that knowledge to grow as a professional and contribute to the team. Next, voice your desire to help out in this way. You can do this in a formal check-in, or informally the next time you and your mentor are sharing a meal or having a coffee. Assuming they’re game, set clear expectations together. Should this reverse mentoring be a one-time deal, last a few weeks, or be a long-term commitment? How will you measure your success? Is there a goal they’re aiming to reach? Once you answer these questions, you and your mentor will be ready to begin.

There’s nothing worse than preparing for a job interview and then botching it. Maybe you flubbed a question, or all of them. Try not to worry — you can learn from the experience. Here’s how.

• Debrief with yourself. After the interview, write down as many questions — and your answers — as you can remember. When were you most comfortable? Where exactly did you trip up? Reach out to friends and mentors in the industry to ask how they might’ve answered the harder questions.
• Use your thank-you note to demonstrate self-awareness. You don’t need to apologize, but take the opportunity to clarify a confusing answer to an important question. And express your continued interest at the end of the note. Remember: You have nothing to lose.
• Don’t assume it’s a done deal. Silence after the interview doesn’t mean you didn’t get the job — it could mean people are on vacation, other candidates are in play, or the business needs changed after the interview.
• Focus on the next interview. Every interview is an opportunity to prepare for the next one. Continue your job search and use your reflections to diligently prepare.

You have a great idea: A product tweak that will save your company money; a process change to increase your team’s productivity; or a plan for heading off a looming crisis. But there’s just one snag: You’re not sure how to approach your boss about it. How can you frame your pitch to get the best reception? Start by asking yourself: How will this suggestion make my manager feel? It’s possible that hearing a great idea from you might make them feel threatened or insecure so set the conversation up for success by laying a groundwork of trust and goodwill. This is something you do long before you deliver your pitch, of course. You might give your manager positive feedback or express gratitude, provided the sentiments are genuine. Something as simple as, “I really enjoyed that presentation” or “Thanks for your support in the meeting today” can go a long way. When you raise your idea, approach your manager in private rather than publicly. This will give them space to respond honestly without feeling the pressure of others’ judgment. Try to frame your suggestions in a way that connects them to the company’s goals. You might reference your boss’s previous communications: for example, “You’ve spoken before about your focus on intuitive design. Here’s my idea for improving the user-friendliness of X product” And finally, have an implementation plan ready. At the end of the day, your manager isn’t going to greenlight a good idea that can’t be executed.

If you’re feeling burned out, it’s natural to assume that you need to lessen your workload. But research suggests that burnout isn’t always a function of too much work; it’s often the result of too little impact. Fortunately, you can increase the impact you have without adding more hours. First, invest in relationships that make you feel valued and psychologically safe, and avoid workplace politics and drama at all costs. They feel like a waste of time and just add to the exhaustion you feel. Next, look for ways to increase the level of challenge — not volume — of your daily workload. There is a strong correlation between being intellectually challenged and job satisfaction, so seek out projects with visible impact and a scope that will push you to stretch yourself and learn new skills. Finally, take on a leadership role on your team — either formally or informally. Where are there leadership vacuums in everyday moments? Who on your team seems to be in need of mentorship that you could possibly offer? Adopting this kind of responsibility could reenergize you when you’re feeling like your work isn’t leading to meaningful results.

There’s no “right” age at which to become an entrepreneur. Of course, having experience helps, but what matters more than age is your team, your idea, and your ability to advocate for yourself. So, first, assemble a team with a diverse set of skills. This might include mentors, advisors, or people who have experience growing companies from the ground up. Include someone who knows how to manage people, as well as someone with the technological skills needed for development and operations, and so forth. Next, identify a problem you’re truly passionate about solving. Find investors who are equally excited about addressing the pain points you care about, and convey your passion in a succinct, clear story to help rally others. And finally, be your own best advocate. If you do encounter age bias, or other forms of discrimination, be prepared to address those concerns head on by demonstrating your competence, confidence, and care. With the right idea, attitude, and people behind you, you can turn your idea into a reality — at any point in your career.

When we’re exhausted or stressed, our brains want to save mental energy and avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable. So how can you get stuff done, especially challenging tasks, when you’re tired and your mind is telling you it’s not worth the effort? Try changing your perception of the task by using a tool called “reappraisal.” For example, you might say to yourself, “I’m going to feel better once I get this new process down on paper,” rather than repeatedly thinking, “I just don’t want to do this.” Also, remind yourself of the long-term benefit of getting the task done. For instance, you might consider: “Do I want to experiment with a new project management tool that may boost my team’s efficiency, or do I want to stick with the same existing process that none of us feel great about?” This will make the easier path less appealing. By reframing hard work and envisioning an incentive, you’re more likely to move past your instinct to avoid the effort, and convince yourself to just get it done.